4/26/05

notes from a chaplain

Rebecca "Beck" Malcolm Schubert

 

One of the characteristics of humankind is that we tell stories. As we age, we transform our experiences into memories that ground us in history and deepen our understanding of the human condition. The oldest among us are therefore indeed like libraries of human experience. When elders share their stories, they pass on to others their accumulated wisdom.—Susan Peristein in “Arts and Creative Aging across America”

Have you shared your story?

Several years ago, I interviewed 20 area residents about their experiences during the 1940s. To say that it was a profound experience seems trite. When people trust you enough to share their deepest feelings, and the experiences that gave birth to those feelings, the potential for a holy moment must be held with great care. In revealing to me their memories of a time in history, they displayed immense trust.

Each person I interviewed asked to have a copy of the interview for family or friends. Of course! was my answer.

Several years ago, a young friend shared with me an old African saying that she felt was important for those engaging in oral history: “Every time an old one dies, the library grows smaller.”

I believe this to be true. The stories of a life can bring reflection, clarity, and wisdom that, when not shared, are lost for all time.

When looking at one’s life through the reflection of time, a once-foggy mirror can become focused. In the telling, we can learn. For instance, we might see in retrospect that saying what was in our heart might not have been politically correct but would have eased a hurting spirit.

The telling of our stories is also important because there is nothing like aging to foster independent, creative thinking. Creativity grows as we age, as does wisdom. A plethora of artists, philosophers, theologians, writers, and politicians have shown us that the creative spirit of the heart bubbles to the surface just as well at 80 as at 25. In older age, ideas that might have been inhibited by a younger person no longer cause one to pause. The world’s most creative people have continued to create, sharing their talents until life completes the cycle for this level of spiritual consciousness.

Age brings to many a knowledge base that usually isn’t available to the young. I qualify my statement because some young people’s lives provide spiritual gifts that arise from the challenges they have faced; I would never want to diminish those gifts with generalizations. And not every older adult has earth-shaking knowledge to impart to the world. However, the willingness to be vulnerable by sharing our life experiences with young people might make a difference in how they perceive their own lives and aging processes. When we touch lives with a story, we don’t always know the effect.

Your life is a chapter in a vast library of stories pertaining to the history of the world. Many stories cry out to be shared with posterity. During the interviews to which I was privy, it became painstakingly clear that these were stories of extraordinary deeds accomplished by ordinary people answering the call to duty. The stories were spiritual, beautiful, and painful; several were horrific. The strong connecting thread was the courage the stories displayed.

This is your invitation to share your memories. Pick up a tape recorder and start talking. If you write, write your memories. We don’t want to lose your chapter of the library.

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© University of Kansas Medical Center, Center on Aging, April, 2005.